#1554 Catfish and the Bottlemen - The Balcony

These guys are catchy in a kind of obvious pop kind of way. There's hooks here. I could totally forgive it's well-designed appeal and give over to it if not for the lyrics.

The lyrics! When's the last time those even got mentioned round these parts?

I think it's a testament to just how bluntly this is an album made of nothing but choruses featuring faux-dangerous anthems for teenage girls. Remember Louis XIV and Morningwood? Of course you don't.

These faux-dangerous just-for-you anthems (something that glances off sex and / or alcohol, addressed from the first person to the second) are repeated again and again and the rest of the song is just wasting time to get to them again and again and again. 4 different songs built on:

• I remember when we swapped names / I thought maybe you'd stay and try and outdrink me
• Whoever you're mixing your drinks with / is dying to go to town on you 
• I'm not the kind to call you up drunk / but I've got some lies to tell
• She's got to wait until she gets you on your own / so she can make you make mistakes / and you can offer to take her home

Did I mention you're in a sexually dysfunctional relationship in this fantasy? 2 more songs built on repeating:

• I gotta give it to you / you give me problems / when you're not in the mood
• But we just always seem to just fall out / when I'm most in need of it

Girls and young-at-heart ladies. Please do not fall in love with this man. He's romanticizing a relationship where one or both of you always has an alcohol problem and / or is sexually frustrated. This is just real life. It's not fun. Just, I don't know, fall in love with boy bands or something, Jesus. Every person in the world is either too young or too old for this shit 2/5