#2058 The Hotelier - Goodness

I admit it: I found the trappings of this album, its song titles, its cover art, its overall attitude, so annoying that I can't even really take any of the actual music seriously. It has a stink of insincerity that undercuts the one thing emo's supposed to have going for it.

The opening track is a laid-bare dear-diary spoken word field recording that starts, I swear to god:

"We sit and we talk, not of much but of little. I see the moon, and the moon sees me. I would smile, but it would be meaningless. I wouldn't want it to be"

Oh? You wouldn't...what?

It's even worse in practice than it reads here. And it goes on - non-poetry that assumes unearned buyin. Maybe for the hardcore fans who have clutched this band to their tear-soaked bosom this is a revelation. But it's the most cringeworthy thing I've ever heard on a record. Even the spontaneous details, the rustle of paper, the big inhales, it all feels choreographed, a cloying audio selfie.

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Ever since a very nice fellow from a band I harshly reviewed commented here, I have to admit, I've occasionally pulled my punches. Because hey, someone worked really hard on that album, and however insignificant my little blog is, there's a nonzero chance my words will find them and affect their life for the worse. This isn't my job, I'm not duty-bound to be objective. I can steer you away without ripping assholes unduly.

And yet, this one bugged me bad. And here I've only talked about this first track but, man does it get things off on the wrong foot in a terrible way. And besides, the rest of the album's got the same underlying problems: it's main virtue is its feelings laid bare - but they seems honed into place, the Ivan Drago of emo. And those song titles, designed for post-twee Andersenian miniaturism; coordinates, and meta-notes, and high school poem titles. And that "controversial" naked old people album cover. That shit hasn't been edgy since 1969.

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On the offchance that you're the probably totally nice kids from The Hotelier, look, you're probably totally nice. And there's a chance this record is from the heart. And if so, well, your album just did not connect with me. I was really put off by parts of it, and I couldn't get past it, and that's on me. It was never for me anyway, so no skin off yall's asses. I wish you all the best as people. Yours truly, a withered old shitheel.

But if I'm right, and any part of this whole mess was designed to sell records, if you've manufactured sincerity in any way, you've done something grosser than the average sellout, and you should take a good hard look at yourself. I hope I'm wrong, I really do. But I can't shake the feeling that this is some slick shit.

So for completely nonmusical reasons, I did not like this album at all (though between you and me, the music did not at all blow my hair back either) 1.5/5